Doubting myself

My life has changed dramatically, I never fully understood, what was about to happen to me.
I was told things that were so out of this world, no way am I believing everything you just said was real facts
Huge doubt lingered as I laughed at the fact you wanted me to become something that was way out of reach
I doubted myself, there’s no way I can do that, that’s just not me, it’s so far from my reality
I was told the path that sat in front of me was going to be hard and I might not figure out what it was really about
Cautiously and skeptically, I slowly started that path that I still doubted could even be me
I admit, I hated the idea of change, I made excuses, sat laid back, even fibbed behind people’s backs
I didn’t think I needed such a big change in me, what could be so wrong with the way things were at
I was happy with me, spent a long time holding back, the real truths of all my faults
What’s wrong with a few white lies if it helps keep you alive, I’m not hurting anyone, that’s just who I am
I doubted myself about everything, so many hurtful words had been said, I kept the truthfulness of me to myself
Reality hit so hard, pounded on my face, wake up you idiot, life isn’t how you think
I smartened up and tried to be who everyone thought I should be, but I still doubted myself, I still don’t think this is me
Today, the doubt still lingers around, I’m nothing special, I love to blend in
I really just want to go back to being me, but I’m stuck here believing there’s a new me
I’m still doubting myself to this day, an epiphany ran my way, I’m completely not ready for all of thisBeanaKing13
by Kingisme on August 18, 2016. © Tony Medeiros, All rights reserved

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